Erin Merryn, 30, a child sexual abuse survivor and creator of the legislation, said schools generally fail to give young students adequate awareness and a voice on the issue of sexual abuse. What factors came together for you to be able to not only overcome what happened, but to also thrive? He doesnt sleep out ever. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate Erins Law. Erin endured the abuse from age 6 to 8 and from 11 to 13 and felt the long-lasting effects of her guilt, shame and loss of innocence. Why is it so difficult to talk about? My sister and I were the only girls that he was around all the time. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. Erin says she believes everyone is born with a purpose and she has found hers through the events that have occurred in her life. At first, it happened when she was babysitting her younger cousins and their older brother would arrive home before their mother. Use safe and unsafe touch. Named by PEOPLE Magazine a HEROES Among us and one of fifteen women changing the world. What if their family is pressuring them to just keep quiet and get on with their life? COLUMBUS, Ohio - Erin Merryn, a Chicago-area resident behind an Ohio bill that would require public schools to provide age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention instruction, told a Senate. I was abused. Instead I am still running from Brian. Erin is a mom to three little girls. We need to start teaching kids this, she said. [3] According to her personal account, she told her parents about the latter after her sister confided that she had also been abused by the same relative. Senator Gillibrand on the federal version of Erin's Law to give federal funding to the law, and in December 2015 President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law under the Every Student Succeeds Act. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. CAC The place Erin Merryn broke her silence The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois In 1998 seventy five thousand six hundred and forty seven abused children were seen in one hundred and thirty nine Children's Advocacy Centers in America. Thirty-seven states have passed Erins Law and Merryn has tried three times in seven years to get the bill passed in Ohio. My name is Erin Merryn and I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? I sat next to a woman who I had just met moments earlier in the waiting room with my sister and mom. After graduating with Bachelors and Masters Degrees in social work from Western Illinois and Aurora Universities in 2008 and 2009, Health Communications published her second book, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness. The school, community organization, day care center, etc. COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. MORE: Monmouth U. faces federal sexual assault case. They never came, so I stayed silent. Ill never be abused again, its just all gonna go away.. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. Bad things happen to children all the time. Read more about Erins Law at www.erinslaw.org, or about Erin herself at www.erinmerryn.net. But Ashley begged her not to say anything because Richard had told her they would "lose the house" if the girls told anyone. Erin Elizabeth had cheerful holidays turned into a fight to protect herself from evil where she often lost. Do you still stay in contact with him? (Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images) Merryn travels the country bearing witness to what happened to her in hopes of encouraging states to enact laws requiring sexual abuse education in schools. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erins Law. The legislation, "Erin Merryn's Law," (S.6182 Klein/ A.8993 Dinowitz), would require schools to make a change to their . This representative did get on her mic. If you tell anybody, you will destroy our family, she said.. To a child who has been told so many threats to stay silent the idea of being taken to a police station can often scare a child. Instead of putting their daughters through further emotional trauma of a criminal trial, Erins parents decided not to press charges. Partly cloudy. He cornered her in basements, bathrooms and bedrooms, always reminding her that she shouldn't bother telling anyone because no one would believe her. I was keeping this secret with my best friend because he was also abusing her, Merryn said. We simply cannot stand by and allow these innocent kids to feel ashamed and live in fear at the hands of their abuser. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois. Therapists (and) an amazing school psychologist in high school really helped me heal. Erin decided at a young age to take a stand against evil and expose the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse in the spotlight. It just turned into a screaming match between my mom and his mom, your son did this, your girls are liars, remembered Erin. After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. Now she's on a quest to make sure lawmakers across America hear what she has to stay. Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. So many children will be protected because of her." The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). Visit Amazon.au's Erin Merryn Page and shop for all Erin Merryn books. Child molestation is an epidemic that needs to end now. Erin Merryn born February 2 1985 is the author of Stolen Innocence Living for Today An Unimaginable Act Bailey No Ordinary Cat and The Diary of a Cat. Erin said he would occasionally downplay what he did, but he never denied it. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County, Ill. (there are 900 of these centers across America in every state), helped give me the courage in my forensic interview after my sister and I broke our silence to tell what had happened. Alaska Dispatch: What can someone reading about this do in their own life, or change about their own perspective, to make coming forward easier for victims? She is the force behind passing Erin's Law across America. Is there anything about your life circumstances that you think made you a target? Merryn lay on blankets on the floor next to Ashley, who was in her bed. It was so brutal I thought I was dying, Merryn, Glamour magazines 2012 Woman of the Year, recalled in an interview with the Asbury Park Press. Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. Erin Merryn is a 21-year-old college sophomore who wrote a book, "Stolen Innocence: Memoir," about her struggles after she claims she was molested by her first cousin. When people ask how I have overcome all that I have and doing what I am doing now, passing Erin's Law in 11 states, 26 introducing it and going to each capital to testify on it, I tell them all of this comes from our creator. Sharing those details can be difficult because as survivors, they bring us back to the place where we endured the horror. Alaska Dispatch: Do you think most lawmakers meaningfully comprehend the issue of sexual abuse? Teaching kids the differences between safe and unsafe touch, safe and unsafe secrets, how to report this to a safe adult and to keep reporting it if your abuse does not end, said Merryn. How do you identify? I always feared he would come back. A therapist urged her to get her anger out on paper by writing her cousin a letter detailing how she felt, and after she wrote it, she was to rip it up, burn it or otherwise throw it away. Merryn: What caused me to come forward was unfortunately finding out that my little sister was also being abused. Are you afraid you will lose business? Hes grown into quite the little man and doesnt want me near the bathroom when he showers or gets dressed and I respect that. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. They dont warn us about our own family, they dont teach us that in school, her age 12 entry stated. I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. One thing my abusers kept telling me was that I had no proof that they were hurting me, so why would anyone believe me? But both she and her sister did tell their stories. Merryn suffered sexual abuse by a male neighbor at ages six to eight[2] and by a teenage cousin at ages 11 to 13. With every passing week, and with every visit, Erin gets closer to her goal. Says Merryn: "[Ashley] made me pinky promise not to say anything. The law has now passed in 37 states. My sister and I told our parents the next day (and) we were referred to the Children's Advocacy Center by police detectives to be interviewed. He did respond admitting what he did and saying he is using his past to not make the same mistakes now in his life. After her parents decided to move Erins abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived down the street from her. I survived it and eventually learned how to thrive from it by breaking my silence and putting a face and voice on this silent epidemic. 2022 Anchorage Daily News. Erins ongoing abuse with her friends uncle was over. In December 2015, President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law providing federal funding toschools to provide this education. She is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for . That is what brought Erin to tell her story at Metamora Township High School last Monday afternoon, during an all-school assembly. Merryn travels the country advocating for children who are victims of sexual assault. I can remember that as if it happened yesterday. She was honored for her efforts in 2012 as one of Glamour Magazines 2012 Women of the Year. Was this just bad luck? Merryn (whose other books are Stolen Innocence and Living for Today), the mother of a toddler girl, says this is a conversation parents must have every year and often. The girls were brought to a Children's Advocacy Center where they had to tell their stories to complete strangers, something Erin wasnt looking forward to at all. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio Senate Primary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. Oh and of course my cousin's voice echoing through my head "No one will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy this family, this is our secret!" Do you believe one word is more appropriate than the other? Children are taught that the police are their to keep their communities safe and lock up the bad people. Her dad singled me out during the party. We live in a society that doesn't want to even address this issue. When she is traveling to state capitols or speaking engagements she is entertaining her 270,000Instagram followers that follow her famous cat. CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . In 2013 Governor Quinn signed Erins Law mandating child sexual abuse education in all Illinois public schools. For so many years I stayed angry and bitter towards him. It was taught every year, and when a creepy van pulled up when I was 12 having a lemonade and the man put his hand out the window asking me to take the change those lessons immediately played back in my mind. tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. Then, after seven months of back-and-forths, he wrote a heartfelt apology to Erin and asking for her forgiveness, but also understanding if she couldnt forgive him. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. I went to bed night after night crying into my pillow having nightmares, and keeping my secrets locked away in my childhood diary., Merryn found her voice at 13 when her younger sister said the words shell never forget: Brians gross!. After years as a teen struggling with nightmares and flashbacks of my abuse, attempting suicide, self-injury, etc., I decided to use that voice to confront my abuser For seven months we corresponded in letters. In 2014 People magazine named her one of fifteen women changing the world along with Oprah and Hillary Clinton. Please join Erin Merryn in her crusade to protect children from sexual abuse and donate to help her with her travel expenses today! The instruction will be provided by a school nurse who has completed professional development sexual abuse and assault awareness and prevention. So began her fight to bring this epidemic to the forefront, to push for every state to implement a prevention-oriented child sex-abuse program that teaches parents and school personnel how to recognize the signs of sexual abuse, and teaches kids from Kindergarten through twelfth grades techniques on how to also acknowledge abuse and tell a trusted adult. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with . Forgiveness set me free. We live in a society that keeps it hushed and (there is) so much taboo around it; people are afraid to speak up and say this happened to them. I will come get you, I know where you live, Erin recalled. Erin Merryn is the author of three books about surviving incest, including "Living for Today." She also speaks nationally on the subject. After describing the difference between the truth and a lie I was asked if I agreed to tell the truth that day. High near 60F. From the time my son Jack was around 3, I began having the private parts talk with him. Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13 . The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. The place Erin reclaimed her voice and began her journey to healing. According to Merryn, every school gets the option to pick a Erins Law program, and have an outside agency teach. "I didn't understand what was going on," she says. Erin's Law has passed in 21 states and is pending in 22 others. He told me, "Your goal is to convince everyone else." Anyone who has felt victimized, ashamed, isolated, and silenced by their abusers will receive a road-map in the book for self-discovery, forgiveness, and empowerment to overcome trauma and live fully and fearlessly for today. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? Merryn's experiences belie the more common parental fears of "stranger danger." She didn't want to stop visiting her friend but tried to find times when Richard wasn't around. 2019 TIME USA, LLC. When Erin Merryn was a child, she was sexually abused by two people she knew and trusted, including a family member. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her abusers tried to silence. "(It) brings me back to remembering being six-years-old being abused. Soon it was no longer our secret and I was behind a different closed door not the one to a bedroom, a bathroom, basement, or closet but this time into a colorful room with a small table and bright light shinning through the skylight. Two of those children were my sister and I. Unfortunately for many survivors they never see their perpetrators held accountable. Erin Merryn, a sexual abuse survivor, applauds Stewart for making her story public. Here's a glimpse of her life and why she's on a quest for social change. 35. (Stacey Wescott / Chicago Tribune) During her quest,. Bucco introduced Erins Law (S-2145) on May 2. Erin Merryn testified Tuesday in an Ohio Senate committee about 'Erin's Law.' From the age of 11 to 13, I was repeatedly sexually abused at the hands of a family member, an older cousin, she said. Did you have a helper or helpers in your life? Merryn advocates for sexual abuse victims. But only 1 in every 10 sexually abused children ever tell anyone about it. Erin's Law is the first US child sexual abuse prevention education law requiring children be educated in schools. Alaska Dispatch: When you broke your silence and spoke up, was it frightening? In 2010, Merryn began a crusade to get Erin's Law passed across America. She also wantsteachers andstafftrained on the topic. She was afraid she would be a burden to her cousin and that no one would believe her. Merryn: I didn't expect a response back from my cousin because my letter was very harsh filled with so much anger and rage. Alaska Dispatch: You have since spoken up in a big way. My mom was a mess, that day she probably cried for 10 straight hours, looking at my dad saying, we missed all the red flags, her grades, she was depressed, Erin recalled. 5 talking about this. She started by pulling out that little pink diary. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. It was just the beginning of a long journey. Visiting Alaska this week, Erin Merryn is a long way from home, and even farther from the torturous past she endured as a sexually abused child. Merryn says a few months ago, a local . Erin's Law was the first law passed in the United States requiring sexual abuse prevention education to be taught to students in school every year, and it was subsequently passed in 38 U.S. states before being signed into federal law. The path to justice for survivors of sexual assault is not an easy road. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. After reading that letter, a switch flipped inside Erin. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. It allowed me to let go of the bitterness, anger and rage I had toward him and find the freedom and peace I longed for and the ability to turn this painful event into something positive. The case never went to trial, and Brian received some counseling, but no punishment. She wasn't always successful. Throughout her school years, Erin Merryn of Schaumburg, Ill., received plenty of lessons in the dangers her elders thought she could encounter during her childhood. It happened again after we moved away, when a cousin started abusing me in my sleep when I was 11 years old. In just a few short years, she has already persuaded half the countryto pass similar versions of the law. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. And it was at her house the very first overnight that I woke up to her uncle who lived in the home sexually abusing me," said Merryn. Erin Merryn was an innocent child of six when her best friend asked her to sleepover. The day I left that place I took a piece of my life back, and that was my voice. He knows the parts covered by his underwear and bathing suit arent for anyone to touch or see and he knows who safe people are if he ever needs help with something. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. One day, a particular entry she wrote caught her eye. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. Merryn is a national spokesperson for the National Children's Alliance, becoming the first survivor of child sexual abuse that went through a Children's Advocacy Center to speak on national television about her experience.[1]. He was the father of my best friend. These monsters are living in all of our backyards., (Tip: Offender Locator is a great app to have on your smart phone.). Merryn is an author, activist, and founder of Erin's Law. The shame is so overwhelming. How and when did you do it first? As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her . She published a book called Bailey No Ordinary Cat that showcases Bailey's unusually gentle interactions with her three children. But what followed was depression,an eating disorder and a suicide attempt. My abusers threatened me, and I believed them. Check out pictures, bibliography, and biography of Erin Merryn She is an activist against child sexual abuse. Buccos legislation has received support from prominent victims rights advocates and support organizations, including Morris County advocate Richard Pompelio; and Patrice Lenowitz, founder and executive director of The Nurtured Parent Support Group for Survivors of Domestic Abuse, a Bergen County organization serving survivors and protective parents across the state. Erin Merryn is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. COURIER/JOELLYN CURRY In her diary Erin Merryn reveals how her life was transformed one night when, as an eleven-year-old, she was sexually abused in her grandparents condo by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Details Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. 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