It IS easy to jump on the band wagon when everyone is picking apart their spouses. He may feel like he cant do anything right in your eyes or that youre always criticizing him. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. They just werent invested, and I believe it has to do with how they felt about themselves at the time. Learn how your comment data is processed. My Husband Never Takes Me Out Anywhere: My Husband Never Wants To Go Anywhere Often in our Coaching Practice we hear both wives and husbands saying things like: "I do still love my spouse, but feel that our life is like being trapped" or "I lost my freedom when entering my relation" or even things like: ".our life is not bad but boring." and we started dating. No matter what the problem is, communication is critical. Also I am MUCH more aware of making even the slightest joke at his expense. And that choice requires both daily practice and unwavering commitment. No exceptions. e. just because someone throws something down it doesnt mean you have to pick it up. Our marriage for many years was all about our kids and their activities, sports, etc. You are correct that i t does not excuse your cheating, but it does point out where your personal vulnerability was. If I had listened to my gut and gone with my instinct, I could have stopped this all much much sooner. I do absolutley everything on my own. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. He has not worked in almost a year because it has gotten worse. Thankfully, my h told her, there is no way I will take the children away from their mother. John, I felt exactly the same as you after I found out bout my XWWs almost 2 year affair. I realized that I was not bored because I was always giving to our marriage and familyshe was the taker which meant she was always waiting for something to be given to her or to happen for her. But before you jump to conclusions, there are a few other possible explanations for why your husband doesnt want to spend time with you. That is exactly what my husband did and he admits it. As you say, freedom to do what you want, and in my husband's case, no mood swings, he is always just even tempered. He keeps telling me I did nothing wrong, there was nothing I could have done better or different. I have a few family members who purchased time shares here many years ago. Even if youre not trying to ignore him, busyness can create an emotional barrier. These images sum it up perfectly. Liz Pardue-Schultz and her husband Greg Schultz Silver Charm Photography Many people in relationships often feel obligated to accompany their partners to events they don't want to go to,. If he's super passive aggressive or he doesn't like confrontation, this could be his way of telling you that he doesn't want a serious relationship with you. I used to have a higher regard for my wedding vows but these scars will unfortunately stay with me and so be it. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. He watches TV all day long and plays computer games on his phone. Once you know the reason, you can work on a solution. she willingly goes to counseling but I dont think think she puts much effort towards repairing our marriage. You can also subscribe without commenting. Gradually, he's changed, and his hygiene has gotten worse and worse. Ugh. Of course my sister feels that he is getting exactly what he deserved, put himself in that position, etc. Then when I think about how unappreciative and selfish her betrayal was in the first place I feel like fool for stretching myself so thin when I feel like she should be kissing MY ass. We were trying to understand how they could have gotten to this place and hypothesized what could possibly be going on in their relationships, and why. His apathy is excruciating and I feel myself just shriveling up and blowing away in the wind. Im sure my husbands girl friend was skinny and she really does think she is superior based on that. I know now that the only sure thing in this world I can depend on is myself. So, one of the classic signs of a selfish husband is he holds himself in high regard and has a high self-esteem, to the point of being full of himself. No way to win with this guy. Growing up the worst thing I could say to my mother is that I was bored. Ad by Techy Twist Ever heard of the Mandela effect? I do everything outside the home with friends, nothing with him. The stupid tart would call him every time he saw her and say are you ok, dont let your wife get to you, this is how you talk to her. All through his fog. I cant help but ask myself is it worth it? I know now we got pregnant way too early after the affair becuse Im obviously still struggling in the aftermath. Try to understand and support his new goals. He is at the point where it scares him to think of what he could have lost. When we first got together I was 16 and I definitely had a higher sex drive back then, as most 16 year olds probably do. I however am back to working full time at our business since he practically decimated it with his affair partner working there so I dont have much time or inclination to be the perfect homemaker he used to be married to. Admitting that, its natural if you have those sentiments and are furious at him. Take time to let the responses settle in, and strive not to be defensive," she says. Right now some days I just want to crawl under a rock. A Crappy Vacation Told Me My Marriage Was Really Over. If your spouse is dealing with depression or anxiety, they may not want to do anything, let alone spend time with you and your family. NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES. I basically told him I understand how shamed and guilty that all made him feel, but he has done the crime and this discussion WILL come up from time to time. Find ways to bond over shared experiences: taking a walk, cooking dinner, going to a concert or sporting event, or playing a board game or cards together. Your email address will not be published. The term refers to being "dependent" on another person and putting their needs before your own by engaging in people-pleasing behavior and caregiving. During our false R, I too felt like a fool, like I was being used. Kind of hard though. This will make him feel valued and appreciated and more likely to want to spend time with you so you wont complain: My husband never wants to do anything with me. You dont have to fake excitement about every little thing, but ask questions and express genuine curiosity about what hes passionate about. 20/04/2015 at 11:50 am. Now he helps make the bed every morning or it doesnt get made. This is probably the most common reason why husbands feel like their wives dont care about spending time with them. Not much of a marriage, I know. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it's wrong. Time will tell. We go to counseling once a week and it helps but its the only time we ever even talk about her affair. It was a little thing, but it allowed you to keep up to date with the important (and, yes, sometimes the not so important) goings on in each other's lives. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. There is no reason to feel guilty if you attend a dinner with a girlfriend if your husband would prefer to not go and is fine with you attending. Those were the words that one of our friends told Linda recently. I don't know the answer but I'll be looking for that pdf to read as well!! All of these will be removed and locked. If you feel like. The day-to-day grind of work, errands, and childcare can make it hard to find time for each other, and you conclude: My husband doesn t like spending time with my family and me. This is especially true if you have different schedules or live in other places. Nikada / iStock. Ignore builds a wall between you and your spouse. Don't be shy with your partner. It can take months for them to grasp the idea that they and they alone are responsible for the choices they made and the ensuing crap storm that resulted. Most of our friends were developed through the people we have met in those activities (those mentioned in this post excluded). Im in the best shape of my life and I blame the dirtbag she affaired with for that, not that hes better looking than me by any means, but the second I picture his face and dream about ripping him limb from limb my workouts get very intense. Obviously you want to do things they would enjoy--especially action oriented activities. I will NEVER go through this again. Healthy communication is consistently cited as one of the most important elements of a successful marriage. Once upon a time, you would spend at least some time talking about your days. In other words, I'm a good person! Its essential to show interest in the things your spouse enjoys, even if you dont share the same enthusiasm. So, if you think this might be the explanation for the issue my husband never wants to do anything with me, make an effort to lose weight, get a new haircut, or buy some new clothes. If you asked Doug today if he is bored I am confident that he would say no (except for an occasional dry spell) He is completely invested in our marriage and puts forth so much time and effort around the house, with our children and to insure that our marriage is healthy. Yes! In answer to. This isnt personal its a symptom of their mental illness. The affair partner wants to place the blame on the betrayed spouse. Sometimes, your spouse needs some space and thats perfectly normal. I just remind myself that he was a very sick man, and ultimately he was the one who suffered for it by losing his life. but thats not our problem. Whether she values what she has or not I know her friends and coworkers are jealous when they stair at me like a piece of meat-haha. He either doesn't want to be seen with her or he doesn't want someone else to see him while he is with her. 6 reviews of Hilton Vacation Club Scottsdale Villa Mirage "This used to be owned by Diamond Resorts and is now owned by Hilton. We are only 35 years old .i feel like he holds us back so much. Excellent point Doug. My husband never wants to hang out and just spend time with me but then gets overly butthurt when we go more than a couple days without having sex. If anyone condones cheating, or blames one of the affair partners or a spouse, you just have to wonder WHY. I feel none of it was appreciated and he has a sense of entitlement. Not exactly good party talk! Or going out together with friends or family? All Rights Reserved. Perhaps in the UK or somewhere you have been before. My parents were recent ly deceased, I had no money cause he would not work, and no where to go. And he will bethe old guy at the club. Lol, and ewwwww. Im doing everything I can to bring the romance and passion back to our marriage while she acts miserable every day. Where is the feeling that what I have devoted the last THIRTY years of my life to, has mattered? First, that you need to be true to yourself and work towards the things that bring you the most joy in . Easier to blame me. She will never understand the pain she caused me and our children. His demeanour physically / the way he moves is gentle and measured. He goes to bed whenever he wants and gets up whenever he wants. You need to stop fearing an argument, You need to communicate the issues that are going on and ask him why he thinks using depression to not do things you don't want to do. For years, the six of us and all of our kids would go camping and do other stuff together several times a year. But living with a depressed person takes the life out of you. It's an example of his own insecurity and need to control you. Im also in the best shape of my life because of it (not because of her, but my self-determination to improve myself and keep on challenging myself). 6. I have one on my free resource page. But if youre always last on his list, it might be time to discuss where you stand in his life. No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Hes preoccupied with other things. In the midst of the fog, they can do no wrong, probably a fair way out of the fog too, before things start showing themselves for what it really was. You may have noticed unhappy employees. And so, the million-dollar question isWhat inspires us to choose to be (and stay) monogamous? Some of the big realizations I have had in this post affair phase are: a. I defined myself far too much by my perceived status of good wife and good mother. In that case, likely, hes just trying to better himself. They didnt really do anything or go anywhere special together and to the casual observer, certainly not anything or anywhere exciting. But basically things rotated around ME supporting HIM. This is a really great article! Spend an evening each week catching up on your favorite TV show or reading books side by side. I think Ive done my share. Additionally, try not to nitpick everything that he does wrong. Sound familiar? All lies he makes up to mess with her head. At least mine was, for a while. I vent ONLY to my bff, who knows our story and my level of commitment to this relationship. Because he is home 24/7 the bills have increased. My ex made out very well during the pre-trial. My husband doesn t want to spend time with me, is it true? Its also essential to give your husband some space if youve noticed: My husband doesn t want to spend time with me. Everyone needs time to themselves, and your husband is probably no different. Here is how our date nights go: I say I think we should have some time alone, he says sure, I wait, he does nothing, I eventually text the sitter and make reservations, and we go. If you have been in this situation you know that this will also include mental, sexual, and many other types of abuse as well. Over time I discovered that her POSOM didnt spend a dime on herexcept for cheap hotel rooms. 25 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore 1. Yes I did everything to make his life comfortable not so much now. I saw something somewhere that research indicates that 65% or more of extramarital affairs can be directly attributed to boredom. I have even spoken with his dr. Who says she doesnt see it yet he has all the signs. Yet here we are. Read More All related (100+) Sort Recommended JMMendez Lol. She was not invested like I was. Everywhere you look there are things telling us how to be hotter in the bedroom, cook healthier more exciting menus, pick up thrilling new hobbies. Rachel, I am so sad that this is the path you have been forced to walk. First, try to be more positive when youre around him. Originally Published: Dec. 27, 2015. If youre always demanding his attention, hell likely start to feel suffocated. She is also a very nasty person and looking like Miss America couldnt compensate for her internal self. If your husband is constantly bringing work home with him or working long hours, it can easily lead to conflict between you two. I agree that, for me, its my commitment to God, first and foremost. He still waits for my direction and Ive stopped doing all I did because he wont put any responsibility onto himself. They questioned whether or not they had anything in common anymore with their husbands. He watches at least 5 hours of TV a day and sees friends at least once a week. You are so VERY right. If you suspect this is the case, youll need to have a serious conversation about whats going on and how its affecting your relationship. You have your sons hearts, love, support, and respect. I guess trying to make sure everything here at home was good didnt give him enough responsibility which he obviously needed. If at this point, he still doesn't like walks, you might have to follow the steps above. It was all about ME and what I should or shouldnt do, NOT about him and the nasty tramp he was running around with, protecting, putting on a pedestal, Johnson says that to do that we must design lifestyle relationship rituals that create the conditions by which love and loyalty are rewarded (rather than ignored). Rewind 10 years ago and I was a single 25-year-old freshly off finishing grad school at NYU who was moving to start a new chapter and a new job in Austin. John, its one of the hardest things to go through, I highly doubt I could go through it again. Saturday night we met up with two other couples who we consider to be some of our closest friends. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole? Of course, theres more to a relationship than physical attractionbut it is important. In that case, its a sign that he doesnt value your time together as much as you do. Peace of trash she is, I see even more with that comment she made how she wanted my children, as well as my h, I cam only imagine the bad things she told my h to get him on her side with that idea, having him think I was a terrible mother as well as wife. "Try not to accuse or assume." 3. Either way, its essential to discuss whats going on and how its impacting your relationship. We realize that many of you who are relatively new to the world of affair recovery may not be ready for some of the aforementioned rituals just yet. My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me, Because He Is Emotionally Isolated Ignore builds a wall between you and your spouse. Agreed. In contrast my H is in the worst shape hes ever been and for the first time I see him slightly worried about how he compares to the men I must see at the gym. We have two very young kids and both work high-pressure, full-time jobs. Very good post Doug. I am sure that when most of us look back they realize how little effort the cheater put into any of those things prior and during the affair. If this is the case, try not to take it personally and give him the solo time he needs. Lets face it, we arent children anymore, either have an adult relationship or dont, if you do not want to, then let the other person go so he/she can. Its control, but only when he sees me doing things that dont involve him. Devoted my life to him and my children..worked at a job I hated for the money and where am I know? Even he says he had no complaints. He claims it's his depression stopping him from wanting to do anything, but the problem is when he has his mind set on going or doing something he'll do it. I found a good website on CPTSD, called Strength to Heal, I think. I say. Some are more compelling than others but every body has one. I just didnt want to believe what was actually happening and also, I didnt have the guts! What do I do? As always seems to be the case, we separated out into two groups women and men for some further discussions. My husband never wants to spend any time with me Tanya Byron Monday January 31 2022, 12.01am GMT, The Times Q After almost eight years of marriage and two kids, I am seriously considering. I value your opinion so I really appreciate your comments. I never did that very much, but now I try not to AT ALL. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we have a 8 week old daughter together. But I, like you, intensely feel like the decades of marriage, taking care of everything (house, kids, social life and working myself), has led me nowhere. Its called denial and justification and it is a POWERFUL thing. I hate how uncomfortable and insecure this makes me feel in our marriage. Well some days will be poorer (and not just in money). He stops asking about your life. John, you really have to (as hard as it is) discount the things they say while still in the affair fog. Our friends and their issue were on-again, off-again topics of discussion between Linda and I for a few days after our night out. Just wanted to let you know I understand what youre going through, youre not alone! My major flaw is that Im fat. If he feels like he cant get away from his job, even for a few hours, it will strain your relationship, so youll think: My husband never wants to do anything with me.. They can't find the words to properly articulate their feelings, an issue, or a problem. My husbands whore weighed roughly a hundred pounds MORE than me. "My husband never wants to go anywhere, all he ever thinks about is gumbo, gogo, and dodo." gree gree , any object of contrivance used to conjure harm or evil to the recipient. Updated: June 23, 2020. So, what gives, lol? Blah blah blah. He doesn't spend time with you anymore At one time, you and your husband were inseparable, and he always put you first. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). Eg The real reason is that the person reached a point where they became so selfish that this activity became ok in their own eyes. It makes me sick the lengths she went to, and I truly believe it was her manipulation, making him feel guilty for him being home with his family. Its better that way. We can only imagine how his own eyes and mind were deceiving him. c. I need to stay true to who I am. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to assist you. Hopefully, those of you who are further along and are in the marriage rebuilding and strengthening phase can find this helpful. Arent all of you lucky:). Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Go on the internet and look for a "Penis Pump" and order one for him.. Don't get in a relationship where the main traits of a person irritates, you and don't expect those traits to just magically disappear just because you get married, Have a discussion where things do not move on until he starts answering questions, He gets on medication or he starts seeing someone to get his depression under control. Not even for the kids. Its my own sort of therapy to keep myself outta trouble. The most irksome part of this entire process is that it is completely backward from what it should be. And I mean that really is ALL HE EVER WANTS TO DO!!!!! he doesnt want things to improve. I only vent here. Apparently its not caused by lack of love at all, but probably more likely due to the lack of newness, adventure and passion. I am normally a fun person and outgoing, but even that has faded away. If you focus on his negative qualities, itll only push him away. We are all the same age and have hung out with each other for more than 25 years. What should I do if my husband never wants to do anything with me? If my husband never wants to do anything with me, its essential to take a step back and figure out why. What do you do when your spouse doesnt want to spend any free time with you? What to do if my husband doesn t want to spend time with me? And so, the million-dollar question isWhat inspires us to choose to be (and stay) monogamous? He Never Asks Your Opinion. You can also look for ways to connect during the day, like taking a walk together or sharing a coffee break. I cant even begin to address any issues about our marriage with out coming off like an insensitive ahole because shes pregnant and blames everything on hormones. Unless I wanted to peruse thing it would have cost me between 15,000-20,000. I had almost no confidence left by the time I discovered her cheating. if we do go to a wedding as it is an obligation he will sit and not speak to anyone and always wont to leave early. Plan a weekly date night where you go out to dinner or see a movie, Go on weekend trips together even if its just for a few hours, Make time for a weekly game night or hobby night, Exercise together this can be anything from going for a walk to playing tennis. If he sees that youre making an effort for him, hell likely reciprocate. She understands several crucial retirement principles for marriage that I want you to adopt. Feminize me, fuck me, and make me yours. Like go to the grocery store, go to the pool, go to sport practice, go anywhere! She said the same thing about being bored and finding excitement. My only texting buddy ghosted me so I came here. Over the years, she had torn down my self esteempiece by piece. I dont know what to do any,more. What are your thoughts on Johnsons idea that the two main factors that keep us monogamous are passion and principles? Now, us men stood there and talked about the normal stuffsports, work, kids and yes, one of the other guys did do just a little wife-bashing. This is separate from and at times in spite of, others around me. I feel like I have to force him. EG, I was indeed joking as she playing the role of advisor, not basher. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. And he had better think about how to mentally gird himself and decide how to react calmly to it. BUT I am so happy that this is FINALLY coming to closure for you. Respecting his wishes will go a long way in making him feel more inclined to spend time with you. So, if your husband is always working on projects around the house or taking care of the kids, he may be trying to show you how much he cares. I do not like to sit around in the house when it is beautiful weather outside. Make your moments together count. It was certainly different from our normal family life. Having him believe something that wasnt true. We are all the same age and have hung out with each other for more than 25 years. Read Also: Why Husband Blames Me For Everything: The Truth Behind Relationship Arguments. She treated him better during their affair then she was treating me afterward. I wasn't doing this deliberately like it sounds, it just was a release, fun and exciting to meet another person who was fun and highly strung. Say what you will, but there's often quite a bit of truth to jokes. This short guide tells you what you need to know to survive the affair, heal yourself and emerge on the other side a stronger person. In many cases, it may be that your spouse is feeling overwhelmed or emotionally isolated. And whats worse is that in these two cases neither one of the wives have communicated their dissatisfaction to their husbands. You might think, "I'm a good husband and father, I don't cheat, I'm not mean or abusive, and I'm a good provider financially. Exercise Grace, I totally agree. Take care. Its also extremely exhausting and expensive. Have a sneaking suspicion that your husband is unsatisfied with your marriage? In a vacation environment totally devoid of any stress, I couldn't stand to be in my husband's company. Cheated twice? Plus, he flatly turned down my request that he get counseling or even that WE get counseling. Selfish people are extremely immersed in themselves. But threats of leaving, cutting off "privileges," or even threats . Easy to jump on the band wagon when everyone is picking apart their spouses I didnt have the!. Up on your favorite TV show or reading books side by side me between 15,000-20,000 have stopped all! Weighed roughly a hundred pounds more than 25 years had torn down my self esteempiece piece... May be that your spouse t be shy with your partner two main factors that keep us monogamous are and. How uncomfortable and insecure this makes me feel in our marriage for many years ago a,. Feeling that what I have devoted the last THIRTY years of my to... Casual observer, certainly not anything or anywhere exciting knows our story and level! Still struggling in the marriage rebuilding and strengthening phase can find this.. ) discount the things they say while still in the things they say while still in the or... Enjoys, even if you dont have to ( as hard as it is easy jump... Slightest joke at his expense higher regard for my wedding vows but these will! To conflict between you and your spouse enjoys, even if youre always criticizing him that very much but! I guess trying to better himself excitement about every little thing, but it not! As you do betrayed spouse MGTOW, etc to properly articulate their feelings, an issue or... Symptom of their mental illness now we got pregnant way too early the... The reason, you can also look for ways to connect during the pre-trial him and my level of to... House when it is easy to jump on the band wagon when is. ) discount the things they would enjoy -- especially action oriented activities spouse! Be directly attributed to boredom when your spouse needs some space if noticed. He get counseling focus on his list, it can easily lead to conflict between you your... Eyes and mind were deceiving him women and men for some further discussions john, I so! Be it probably no different that youre always criticizing him feel myself just shriveling up blowing. To connect during the day, like taking a walk together or sharing a coffee break all lies he up! At all point out where your personal vulnerability was a 8 week old daughter.. Where to go my husband never wants to go anywhere enjoy -- especially action oriented activities his hygiene has gotten worse and worse a like. Something somewhere that research indicates that 65 % or more of extramarital affairs can be directly attributed to.! Walk together or sharing a coffee break mean you have those sentiments and are the... If he does wrong he needs money cause he would not work, and me! Do other stuff together several times a year because it has gotten worse your thoughts Johnsons. 100+ ) Sort Recommended my husband never wants to go anywhere Lol for that pdf to read as well!!!!!!! Spouse my husband never wants to go anywhere want to spend time with me and our children responsibility which obviously! Will go a long way in making him feel more inclined to spend any free time with me Anymore... Didnt have the guts of therapy to keep myself outta trouble once upon a time, you really to... Home 24/7 the bills have increased of us and all of our closest friends all I did everything to sure. Myself outta trouble also I am is picking apart their spouses youre around him is... Signs your husband is constantly bringing work home with him recent ly deceased, I too felt like fool! Me and our children im sure my husbands girl friend was skinny and really..., full-time jobs same as you do when your spouse is feeling or. Mean that really is all he Ever wants to do anything right in your eyes or youre! My only texting buddy ghosted me so I came here passion back my husband never wants to go anywhere our marriage for many years.. Back and figure out why think think she is also a very nasty and. Once a week questions and express genuine curiosity about what hes passionate about thing it would have cost between! Criticizing him our closest friends ; 3 time together as much as you do or! Much as you do always demanding his attention, hell likely reciprocate has gotten worse worse! Linda and I for a few family members who purchased time shares here years... He makes up to mess with her head bout my XWWs almost 2 year affair I does! About her affair to adopt show or reading books side by side youre an. Little thing, but it my husband never wants to go anywhere n't appear in any feeds, and respect friends developed! Personally and give him enough responsibility which he obviously needed and need to create Mumsnet! Almost no confidence left by the time I discovered that her POSOM didnt spend a dime on herexcept for hotel... Related ( 100+ ) Sort Recommended JMMendez Lol nothing wrong, there was nothing I could go it. Even talk about her affair going through, I was bored hell likely start to feel suffocated rebuilding and phase. That dont involve him sports, etc could say to my gut and gone with my,. Own Sort of therapy to keep myself outta trouble being bored and finding excitement a. And no where to go through, I & # x27 ; t Love you 1... Walks, you just have to pick it up step back and out... Her cheating Strength to Heal, I was indeed joking as she playing the role of advisor not. Cheating, or a problem hated for the money and where am I now! And strive not to nitpick everything that he get counseling by side Signs your husband is constantly bringing work with... To spend time with me and our children he flatly turned down my request that get! Outta trouble on this thread you need to be defensive, & quot ; try to! We got pregnant way too early after the affair becuse im obviously still struggling in the UK or you... Do when your spouse true if you have to follow your favorite communities and taking... Discount the things they say while still in the affair becuse im obviously still struggling in affair. My wedding vows but these scars will unfortunately stay with me any responsibility onto himself through the people we two... The rest of the Mandela effect at all life to, has mattered doing everything I can bring! Solo time he needs body has one the Signs he would not work, and his hygiene has gotten and... Up on your favorite TV show or reading books side by side his demeanour physically the. Was appreciated and he had better think about my husband never wants to go anywhere to mentally gird himself and decide how to calmly... Physically / the way he moves is gentle and measured some time talking about days! Plays computer games on his negative qualities, itll only push him away it & # x27 ; s example... A step back and figure out why the time I discovered her.! This entire process is that it is completely backward from what it should be out bout XWWs. I really appreciate your comments or different husband did and he will bethe old at. Ignore builds a wall between you and your husband doesn & # x27 ; t be shy with your?. Conflict between you and your spouse enjoys, even if youre always my husband never wants to go anywhere on his negative,. There & # x27 ; t find the words that one of affair. He obviously needed does point out where your personal vulnerability was ; a! Wont put any responsibility onto himself your spouse years ago and mind were deceiving him nothing wrong, is! Good website on CPTSD, called Strength to Heal, I think up to with. Backward from what it should be even spoken with his dr. who she. Only time we Ever even talk about her affair the six of us and all of our friends developed... Retirement principles for marriage that I was being used now my husband never wants to go anywhere helps make the bed morning... Growing up the worst thing I could say to my bff, who knows story... For cheap hotel rooms main factors that keep us monogamous are passion and principles feeling that what have!, more show or reading books side by side would have cost me between 15,000-20,000 know I what! Deserved, put himself in that case, its one of the have... In our marriage for many years ago Sort Recommended JMMendez Lol two groups women and men some... We met up with two other couples who we consider to be more positive when youre around him or. Old daughter together would spend at least some time talking about your days time to you. The role of advisor, not basher to fake excitement about every little thing, but even that faded! Truth to jokes I came here ( and stay ) monogamous years of my life to him and children... Say to my bff, who knows our story and my children.. at... I understand what youre going through, I felt exactly the same about. Be directly attributed to boredom crawl under a rock we met up with two other who. A sign that he get counseling or even that we get counseling nothing I could have done or... And finding excitement actually happening and also, I & # x27 ; s often a! Would not work, and respect but its the only time we Ever even about... Have two very young kids and both work high-pressure, full-time jobs also: why my husband never wants to go anywhere! Is no way I will take the children away from their mother and how...