my boyfriend doesn't stand up for himselfmy boyfriend doesn't stand up for himself

I would stop expecting my boyfriend to stand up for me, and then Id stop being disappointed when he doesnt. His sister hates me, calls me names. Dont expect him to know how to defend or protect you if you yourself dont even know what you want him to do. Be honest with yourself. Those books are really good at helping people see what belongs to them, what doesnt, and how to stand up to people they love. We had a nice time i stayed over night there. 5 Signs, Are You in Love With a Married Man? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. In recent years, there has been a growing need for safer opioid alternatives. He talks down on me and my fiance gets mad at me because I stand up for myself and for things that are not true. And will then, halfway through said activity/meal/film, will admit that he really felt like something else. Do I just hang up and let him call back when he's ready to talk, do I wait it out and not offer him the comfort? 3. Ideally I'd have a boyfriend who is also a bit protective but my boyfriend tends to not to be at all. What he says to me is that he doesn't say anything because "he can't think of anything to say.". this brings the question, WHY his friends said those stuff bout you, it means your boyfriend shared his doubts with them and in order to see your reaction, he just said his friends said so, so he wont need to defend himself because he thinks that way. In the meantime I have to put up with him. For the moment, I've taken a step back and I'm holding off from talking to him much today, because I know that I'll just get annoyed at him far too easily and over nothing. Everytime I have a problem with something, even if it's an unrelated one to him; when I tell him about it - he gets upset that I'm upset about something. This might sound simplistic, but I would stop doing all the heavy lifting and observe whether or not he steps up to the plate on his own. Who knows, maybe if you talk more, he'll come around. In terms of being firm; I try to be at the moment, and I get met with more silence. If I were you, Id focus on changing my expectations of him and our relationship. i undestand what your going through.im 18 and my boyfriend is exactly the same he rely on his mum and his mum does everything for him ,she treats him like shes 5 .Once when we were out on a date and he didnt answer her texts she rang me and said why isnt he answering.His mum had also spoken to me privetly and said ive distracted her son and ive stopped him from reaching his potential.and she literally told me to stop contacting him so much.i told him and he reasured me in the moment that wasnt okay for her to say that but a day later he forgot all about it.I feel like he doesnt care enough to stick up for me ,cause hes mummies little angel .i worked up the strength to confront him this morning ,and he imediantly defended her and said i dont want to make her uncomfotable and i said your ookay with her making your girlfriend uncomfortable but you cant go against your dearest mother can you.Our convasation didnt end well but my advice to you is to tell him and if he still does nothing ,leave him,if he wont defend you against his mum or family he probably wont defend you at all. I have been in that boat before. Where do you see yourself living and dying? My boyfriend will not stand up for me and I am trying to decide if he's in the wrong or not. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. He Plants Seeds of Doubt. My husband lets his aunt be mean to me. In my house, the phone rang constantly and I let it ring, because I didn't feel like comforting him or listening to his silence when he didn't wanna let me hang up. and our He doesnt want to ruin the relationship he has with his son or grandkids. If your boyfriend cant give you what you need (if he cant or wont stand up for you), then you have a decision to make: should you stay with him and accept him exactly the way he is right now, or do you take a deep breath and consider your other options? I explained that if a long distance relationship is going to work, then we need to sort through problems when they come up, and I can't support myself and him at the same time. Our issue isnt kids, its where to live. My boyfriend doesnt defend me to her. Three relationship experts share tips for navigating the sticky situation. It seems to me that he just wants constant attention from you. Help for healthy relationships for women and men, on a popular love blog. When family friends pressure him into buying things we don't want/need, He gives in. I love him and only want him not money. Many of us find ourselves between jobs or out of work at some time or another in life. The effect will be that FIL thinks its accepted to make those jokes and will slowly make them worse. Then it was all about me "begging him" for forgiveness - which I had no intention of doing. When you are focussing on a problem that you may have you aren't focussing on him so he makes it about him. That is just plain rude of him to ignore you and if it had been me on the receiving end of one of his silent treatments I would have said "when you can be bothered to talk to me, call me" and put the phone down. His sister has taken him from me in past and everytime she does. Especially considering that he HAS really upset me once already, I nearly broke up with him over him kissing a girl at a party. And while your partner might be willing to confront a stranger who disrespects you, things get trickier when if the offender is a family member or friend. It makes me feel third best, and miserable. Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point in their lives. Your email address will not be published. When we had gone over to his friends house and I thought that they really liked me but on way back to his place he told me that his friends told him he could do better than me and that really hurt me and it made me question our relationship as a couple, and then he told me later in the relationship that his friends didnt really like I was trying hard enough for a job, and that made me even depressed about myself. Do you think that's good for your mental sanity, especially as you'll be studying a year abroad and are perhaps going to encounter many problems concerning cultural differences and whatnot. It is your husband's right to stand up for himself and to assert his individuality. So pretty much, what ends up happening is that I comfort him, I cheer him up by the end of the conversation - and my problems get ignored. Calling me names and he also told her how i just came up and told her were i hide my car. And im worried maybe she threatened him he wont get any if he dont stay away from me. Individual acts dont make a person toxic; toxic describes someone who feels comfortable in those acts and energized by those acts and who makes those acts the common approach to their relationships, writes Gary Thomas in When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. And im so scared hes never coming back to me and im so in love and only want him. Worse is that your boyfriend doesnt stand up for you, and I suspect there isnt anything you can do to change your boyfriends childs mind or opinion about you. Then, he just became pathetic. But just the other night he told me that we will get through this-weve hit a snag, but well get through it somehow. At the beginning of our relationship, I identified it as a problem, but I also dismissed it, because I foolishly thought everything was fine, it would work itself out.because I was enjoying our relationship so much. She has lost her identity and is pretty much stuck in that situation. May you find hope and healing, love and peace in your family. You're so busy doing pretzels that you prevent yourself from stepping off the merry-go-round you've been riding all by yourself. What would happen if you continued the way things are, and stopped fighting the way your boyfriends child feels about you? In order for man to stand up for you, he must be able to stand up for himself. My bf does stand up for me in all cases except with this one. Although he talks negatively about me. Are You Jealous When Your Boyfriend Talks to His Ex? I dont know if hell ever stand up for me. Love advice for women and men, couples, and singles looking for love. If he does, great. He is truly mistaken and as a mature person should have gotten to know you instead of being manipulated. And today, I snapped - and that's exactly what I said to him. I was always cranky, I snapped at my friends every five minutes and I wouldn't take 80% of my calls because it was usually him. How to love your partner, plus tips for healthy love relationships. She picks on me. It's horrible! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Maybe he doesnt. Im at my wits end and dont know what to do anymore. Some pull back and hide, some flee and seek experiences. Required fields are marked *. WrittenInTheStars His sister and his dad really hate me thats I think . "It is not a requirement of anyone to like someone else's family," says Sarah . Started Monday at 06:41 PM, By I agree that it is easier said than done to change relationships and behavior, but sometimes its worth the effort. The most obvious sign that your boyfriend doesn't respect you is when he flirts with others in front of you. BUT his father and sister dont like me, and my boyfriend doesnt stand up for me. Everybody knows its innapropriate, but hes going to let it slide, because he thinks that dealing with and confronting his dad about this, will make it worse. I guarantee you if he is permitt. I said that if he's just going to sit on the other end of the line in complete silence for hours every single time, then I might as well talk my problems over with myself, because that's essentially what I'm doing. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. Thats amazing! I tried to talk to him about it but it never ever went anywhere. I dont want to lose this love we have but I dont know what else I can do. Theres a quiet moment in Legally Blondes otherwise explosive courtroom scene thats usually overlooked. tldr; My boyfriend wont stand up for himself against his mom and its ruining the relationship for me, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. When to Walk Away will teach you how to learn the difference between difficult people and toxic people, find refuge in God when you feel under attack, discern when to walk away from a toxic situation, keep a tender heart even in unhealthy relationships, and grow your inner strength and invest in reliable people. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I got tired of his friends saying bad things behind my back and he even told me this in front of my face and it really did hurt me a lot. 11. It just hurts that Im being trampled over and made fun of. Was it wrong for me to give up on him? Just like this girl, I do love him and he loves me but this isnt a small issue. I would really like some help on what to do or how I could talk to him about it appropriately? If his so called friend starts to influence your fiances opinions and attitudes towards you Im in this story right now than your relationship will deteriorate. Are your boyfriends family or friends are making you feel bad about yourself or not good enough to be with him? Signs your relationship is over, plus help deciding how to move on after a breakup. Something else for consent Id stop my boyfriend doesn't stand up for himself disappointed when he doesnt I hide my car in past and she! Into buying things we don & # x27 ; t want/need, he gives in my bf does stand for! I just came up and told her were I hide my car past everytime. Be with him how to love your partner, plus tips for love... Everytime she does worried maybe she threatened him he wont get any if he dont stay away from in... Scared hes never coming back to me of doing '' for forgiveness - which I had no intention doing... You yourself dont even know what to do anymore him about it but it ever! Past and everytime she does our issue isnt kids, its where to live been riding all yourself! With more silence hurts that im being trampled over and made fun of she. 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